finally home alone *rips off pants* *blasts music* *eats 7 cookies*
cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas
me: you said i got one phone call
hearing a really good song for the first time
Double the Sansa Stark, double your fun.
Vulture premiered the first English language trailer of Another Me. The film opens on August 22nd in the US.
i hate these cookies
Go fuck yourself, you piece of shit. You’re the reason society is crumbling. In 20 years, New York is going to be a pile of ash and dust because people like you exist. This is why I fucking hate tubmlr.
…sorry that your bitch asses came into my house uninvited
adult: “do u know what college you want to go to yet?”
me: [sweats nervously] MONSTERS UNIVERSITY
a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.